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Why I VOTE, but don’t care?

I vote like any other good fellow American who hasn’t committed a felony should, but I’m pretty sure I don’t care.
…Let me explain. I care, but I know, unlike American Idol, the democratic process of electing a president of the US doesn’t actually care for my opinion. It’s the electoral vote that actually matters. The popular vote feels like a mechanism tossed at citizens to keep order through a false sense of significant participation.

It’s like the way a 5th grade teacher offers an out of control student with ADHD options to either complete 1-7 first or 8-14 so he feels like he had a say so in what he’ll be doing for the next hour and a half. That way hopefully he won’t begin to resist and instead feel a sense of power when truthfully *whispers* he never held any power to begin with. Honestly, if the kid thought about it he’ll realize he never wanted to do any of the problems in the first place; rather he would love to go outside and do some hands on learning about snails and tater tots soaked in cafeteria issued chocolate milk.

With that said, with great power comes great responsibility, and honestly many people aren’t too responsible. So it’s a bit of a catch 22.

So why? Why do I vote? 4 main reasons

1. I’m ‘black.’ Its no secret, black people had to take it to the face, literally, (ah la Mississippi and Alabama fire hoses) to get rights that we’re naturally granted to others born in this country. Thus, whether I believe in the system or not I owe it to my ancestors to vote – after all there is a picture hanging in my dad’s house of my older uncle donating a piece of his booty meat to a Canine outside of a southern state voting hall.

2. To let the powers that be know that yes – we’re ‘awake’ (laying in bed watching TV awake, sure, but awake nevertheless): watching, reading, and listening. A lot of times you only get good customer service if you ask for it. For example, if you and others didn’t demand and or expect that hotel rooms be cleaned before you checked in – you would catch yourself spending your first night in a room littered with dirty pampers; which is weird because you always wear a condom before you ‘exercise’ so you’re pretty sure that’s not your baby’s doing. Companies, restaurants, etc. will do the least if you allow the least, same thing goes for our government. So voting is like saying ‘yeah we’ll take your shit, but you will NOT piss on us too!’

3. Hard not to! SHEESH! The commercials, the t-shirts, the booths on every corner, the college sophomores taking poli-sci classes that still believe they can save the world! So many reminders! So many bumper stickers! So many guilt trips! It’s harder not to vote these days then it is to just say f*ck it and walk into a booth and pick the black guy.

4. And most importantly complaining about politics can be really fun and bring people together – like at dinner parties and over lunch at work; but you can’t complain if you don’t vote! Well you can, but you look and smell like a dick if you do.

Don’t smell like a dick – VOTE this year!

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-Chinedu Unaka

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