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Starbucks Is CRACK Coffee

Starbucks Is Crack Coffee

Usually when a suspicious looking person on the street with white powder surrounding their mouth asks me for $1.65 cents “for something to eat” I assumed they might be on drugs or that they eat baby powder, which is usually an indication that someone is on drugs. . This time was different. I gave LeRoy (he had a name tag on attached to his overalls…weird) a dollar and carried on down the ave. When I returned he was back on the corner drinking a Starbucks Frappuccino, shaking more than ever!  What is going on here? What is making Starbucks so damn good? So addicting!?


I don’t understand the long lines inside of Starbucks sometimes, especially because Starbucks is extremely over priced. In Airports they don’t even bother to follow suit with other companies and raise their prices as every other store and restaurant, because they are already horribly inflated.


Just the other day, I bought an Iced coffee with no coffee for $5.75! That’s ridiculous! At that price I should be putting macchiatos in my gas tank and drinking gas before work. Either way, we should not be coughing up that much money for coffee on a Saturday afternoon when most of us don’t have shit to do! What is wrong with me! What is wrong with you! What is wrong with LeRoy! What is wrong with us! *Wipes fallen tear from keyboard*


I know people who drink Starbucks after just waking up from a 3 hour nap! Why!!! Is it the funny names like Macchiato and Frappuccino that keeps us coming back? That keeps us feeling cool, feeling like a Star w/ plenty of Bucks? Is Starbucks more about a statement than it is a cup of Joe? Is their cocaine in my Starbucks? Is Colombia giving Starbucks the old fashion two for one deal at the port of New Orleans? That wooooould explain why their is a Starbucks ON EVERY DAMN CORNER, bullying the mom and pop shops like The Coffee Bean and Dunkin’ Donuts! Believe it or not, I actually seen a Starbucks inside of a Starbucks inside of an Elementary School!


I’m truly concerned, because I am actually complaining about Starbucks while sitting inside of a Starbucks!? I need to go.

*closes laptop*


Lets leave LeRoy.


-Chinedu Unaka

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